Today on Elvis Duran and the Morning Show they referenced a list of the 20 things you need to know in order to live your best life via Thought Catalogue. These realities are something you MUST face in order to really let things go and live. The article by Constance Lee was originally written in 2016, but updated this month. Take a look below at what she says.
1. People come and go.
As I grew older, I realized my circle of friends became smaller. You’ll be so close to one person today, and suddenly you aren’t talking anymore. It’s life. People grow apart rather than grow as a part of you. Accept that and move on. Bringing me to my next point:
2. Every lesson has a price to pay.
There is no free lunch, ever. You have to pay for it one way or another. People leave for a reason, so learn from that and move on. Take that as a learning experience. Some broken relationships might be a blessing in disguise even if you don’t see it at the moment. You may be hurt, but you might be the one hurting someone else. When a relationship ends, it will hurt. And it’s okay to cry. Bawl your eyes out. However, after those tears, get your ass up and move on. You can look back, and do it. Because it’s when you learn the lessons you paid with this relationship to learn. So learn it well. Look back, but remember: Never ever let it affect you so much you can’t move forward in life.
3. Keep people who care close to your heart.
These people are hard to come by. Generally, if someone acts to gracious towards you, they want something in return. You know who are true only when you fuck up. People who stick with you through your bullshit are real. That’s it. People who leave? Let them. There’s no point dwelling on nonsense like that. It’s not worth your emotions.
4. A relationship takes effort.
You need to constantly make an effort to nurture that r/s. Don’t neglect someone because you think they will always be there. No, they won’t. As time passes, you drift apart and that is how everything tumbles downhill. If you treasure that relationship, show it. Give every friendship your 100% and don’t be afraid to get hurt. Because even if it doesn’t work out, you know you’ve done the best you can. You did everything in your power and you have no regrets whatsoever.
5. Grass is greener where you water it.
You will often look at your peers, cousins, colleagues and close friends green with envy. They’ve got those achievements you don’t have, their life looks perfect. Or maybe that’s what you think. Everyone have their struggles no matter how great it looks. You never know. Just concentrate on your patch of grass, water it well, and it will grow longer and greener as days pass. Nothing comes easy, you have to work for your shit.
6. You can’t please everyone.
Never. You cannot. Do things you love, go all out. Say what you say, do what you do. You do you, and if there are people who hates whatever you’re doing, let them. People who matters will not care, and people who care, don’t matter. Don’t change yourself to please them, because they will not be contented. There will always be something for people to talk about. However, you need to know who to please to make your life easier.
7. Build meaningful relationships and build it well. Know who to please. (Boss, lecturer etc. you’ll need it)
By pleasing I don’t mean full on sucking on their balls and maybe even their dick. (You get what I mean.) No. I mean talk to them, know what they like, and what they don’t like. Go out for lunch with them. Don’t go sucking up to them, though. No one likes that. Just be there. Your presence mean everything. As time passes, bonds and relationships will be formed. Make sure you form it well. And it will do you good.
8. You. Need. Connections.
Get out, get to know people. Interact even if you hate it. We all need to start somewhere. Do volunteer, internships, and part-time jobs even if it means you’re doing the unpleasant tasks. Know names, take business cards, put your name out there and make sure you make an impression. Why? Because when you go out there and do shit, you’ll need these people. It’s easier to get to where you want to go when people already know who you are. So do yourself a favor.
9. No. One. Cares.
Stop. Complaining. About. How. Much. Your. Life. Sucks. Seriously, literally no one cares. So if it sucks that much, do something about it. The ball is in your court. You make a conscious decision to do something, you will be prepared to bear whatever consequences that comes together with it. Because at the end of the day, you’re responsible for yourself. No one will give worm poop about you.
10. No one owes you shit.
You are responsible for yourself. Your parents don’t owe you anything, your bosses don’t owe you anything, and your lecturers don’t owe you anything. You want something? You work hard and earn it. Don’t expect anyone to do anything for you. If they do, it’s a privilege, not an entitlement. Remember that.
11. Physical appearance isn’t everything. It’s how you carry yourself.
I’d rather someone love me for my personality and knowledge than my looks. Carry yourself with respect, confidence and kindness, all will be well. You see people talking shit about a pretty face with an ugly personality, but you never see people talking shit about someone who has an awesome personality but a below average appearance. As you grow older, you really realize, your physical appearance really DOESN’T MATTER.
12. Your pride is not everything.
It’s not. Your stupid pride isn’t worth shit. Put that pride down, and apologize when it’s needed. Friendships and relationships are worth far more than your stupid pride. Even if you hate your boss, you put that pride down and you say good morning when you see him. Because if you don’t say it, what do you think you’ll get out from it? You're useless pride and the risk of getting on that grumpy ass boss’s bad side. Not worth it.
13. You’re only truly happy when you make peace with yourself.
Don’t look at others for validation. You’re going to be let down very often. Validate yourself. Same goes for happiness. Don’t rely on anyone for happiness, you’re going to inevitably be let down. Love yourself. And be confident. It’s sexy as fuck. I’m fat? Great! Do you know how difficult it is to maintain a body fat percentage like that without it increasing or decreasing?! It takes hard work. Eating donuts at 12am isn’t easy when you need sleep too, okay?
14. Don’t be afraid of ridicule.
People are bound to judge. They will pass comments. And they will not care about how you feel. Learn to laugh at yourself, you’ll find joy in that. Don’t not take what they say to heart. Analyze, and if it’s bullcrap, throw that away in the bin. Let them do them, and you do you! Use your actions and achievements to prove them wrong. However, do remember to take in constructive criticism. That’s how you grow.
15. Life is never fair. Never.
You work as hard as someone but they get what they want and you don’t? Suck it up. Life isn’t fair, and it will never be. Work hard, and if you work hard enough, you will get to where you want to be. Eventually.
16. Live by what you believe in, regardless.
Stick to your values and do not get swayed. You believe in second chances? Give that chance. You want to be vegan? Do just that. You want to be kind to people who least deserve it? Be kind as fuck. Don’t change who you are for someone who can’t accept you for you.
17. Count your blessings.
Always. Always. Always. You’ll never get everything you want in life, but that’s life. Be contented with what you have, and you will be happy. There will always be someone better, richer, more attractive. You’ll never win, so don’t. Strive for the best version of yourself, not the best of someone else.
18. Choose your battles wisely.
We all have our own battles to fight every single day. But choose it wisely. Is it worth fighting for? It is worth bruising your arm and cutting your knee? Prioritize. Also, very importantly, count your victories. A small step forward is a huge step in achieving whatever you want to achieve.
19. Always take a step back and view things from a different perspective.
There’s always two parts of the story. Always, always emphasize rather than sympathize. Put yourself in their shoes and understand why they do what they did. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture that is in front of you. More than often, we see things how we want them to be even though in most cases, it isn’t what our minds made it out to be. Emphasize, it’s a very empowering set of skill.
20. Be kind. Always.
Even if people take it for granted. Be kind. Kindness goes a long way.