Hoda Kotb had almost given up on motherhood before adopting daughter Haley Joy at age 52. The TODAY show cohost sat down with Arianna Huffington for the latest Thrive Global podcast and dished on her inspiring road to motherhood and a conversation she had with a stranger that changed her perspective on life.
The award-winning journalist recalled to good friend Huffington that after battling breast cancer a decade ago, the treatment left her unable to conceive. Following her recovery, she was also faced with divorce, ending her two-year marriage from Burzis Kanga. At the time, Kotb felt hopeless when it came to motherhood -- but she never gave up on her dream.
"I knew after cancer, and after all of that, they basically said, 'You could freeze your eggs, you could do this, you could do that, but it's unlikely that anything would work,'" she shared. "And I remembered almost blocking how devastating that was. At the time, I was going through a separation that would lead to a divorce. It was, like, horrible things were happening at the same time, and I kept thinking, 'This is an avalanche of pain. How do people, how does anyone deal with this?'"
Kotb, who then started dating now longtime boyfriend and partner Joel Schiffman, continued that she never gave up hope, even after attempting to shelve her feelings.
"I met Joel, and there was like a voice inside me that I couldn't quiet," she explained. "It just kept coming up. I tried to push it away, it kept coming, and I said 'I'm about to have a conversation with this man, who has a grown daughter in law school, I'm about to bring up something that I cannot swallow anymore.' So, I sat with him, and I said, 'I need to discuss something with you,' and I said, 'Please don't answer me right now.' I said, 'Take a week and just marinate it.' I said, 'This is important and it means a lot to me, but I would appreciate if you wouldn't answer right now.' I said, 'For a long time I've had these feelings, and I've wanted to have children, but I've pushed them away.' I said, 'I just can't push them away anymore. ... So, I'm going to ask you, I would like to explore adoption with you,'" she continued. "And, he paused for a second, and he said, "I don't need a week.'"
Kotb concluded that she knew Haley Joy was meant to be her baby even before meeting her.
"I knew her, before I saw her," she said of adopting her bundle of joy. "I wrote about her every day after those adoption papers were filed. I knew she was sleeping under the same moon and stars. I could feel it. I didn't know her, but I knew her."
The Today show cohost explained that after surviving breast cancer, divorce, and life's ups and downs, she had a "reset" with Haley and Joel.
"I mean, who would've thought at 52 that somehow you get to live your best life?" she concluded. "Who would've thought? Usually at that point, most of your dreams have either been realized, or they haven't. You don't get ... I still can't believe that some of the greatest blessings in my life are coming at this stage in my life. I would never have imagined!"
Listen back to the full interview in the audio above to hear more.
The Thrive Global Podcast with iHeartRadio, hosted by Arianna Huffington, where she speaks with notable leaders, celebrities, athletes and influencers to learn how prioritizing well-being — instead of burnout and overwork — has made them happier and more successful. This podcast provides tips, tools and microsteps to transform your life and go from surviving to thriving.
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